When I feel into this place it is my shadow. I feel disconnected to my healing team, my certainty.
It isn’t just dark, it’s quiet. Yet even in the darkness, I feel the candle light.
It is always there. It is God reminding me of who I am, and why I am here.
Why am I in the darkness of my shadow right now?
What is it this time?
What is causing the shade of separation between the sun light and my earthly body?
And pause. . .
In a powerful stillness.
I’ve been in shadow before. If I am showing up for my life, I should be entering into my shadow from time to time. I will be here or someplace exactly like it, again. . . .
I recognize this as the transition place. I see and feel the energy of this all the time in session.
Like a subway tunnel underground, moving quickly through flashes of dime light. This transition tube of gray is the way we get there, sometimes, most of the times. It is the fastest of ways, perhaps.
Cocoon in the darkness,
To break free of layers ready to be released.
The toughest part of this for me is the feeling of disconnect. I can’t hear many of my Spirit Helpers during the quiet time. I can sense my lead guide, I am not completely alone but it feels like it. I am always in crowded room of spirit helpers, a constant hum of chatter always surrounds me.
And all the sudden I enter transition and it becomes spooky quiet. Funny when you think about how all that supernatural chatter is normal to me and being without is not.
It’s been a few days, maybe three now, the mode of heightened self care. I could feel the release phase start, the opening of the transition time. Oh I \been there done that Quite aware of the process.
Today I was able to connect with my circle, my team, in meditation. And I asked for help.
Sometimes I need a reminder that I need to ask for help. Sound familiar?
When I arrived in meditation, I went to the ocean. I had my yoga pants on and a white t-shirt,
with the words Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, (a shift I bought from Shannon of Lotus Life Designs).
My bare feet sounded by sand with each step.
I ran to the water. I love the white foam that makes my feet curl.
After a few moments, I began to run down the shore line until I was exhausted.
Water splashing, feet pounding on the wet earth.
I fell to my knees,
face up to the sun and I begged for help and it came.
I felt love and support circling me, all of my women guides. I was connected again.
And I sobbed, releasing the pain of transition.
Then I heard him. Melchizedek, (Ascended Master, one of my personal Spirit Guides, he called out
from above, he was behind me on the rocky beach.
“I need help with my Ego Mind”, I said. I want to run away from what I
want. It seems like it would be easier to just let things be.
The bigger the visions of my work, the more painful it is, the stronger my mind fights me.
Throwing Daggers pierce my heart to make it bleed streaks of darkness over my soul.
Is this growing pain?
Like muscles tearing to get stronger, to build.
As I get brave, I step out a little bit ,out of my safe place, but I feel deeper than vulnerable,
I feel like a target. A huge bulls eye.
As if I am asking for proof that I don’t belong.
Here in the out place,
the bigger place of vastness where opportunity and possibility come in swag bags.
I wear a sign that says “Kick Me” on my back. Taunting self- doubt outward
to get the universe to bring on the hazing.
When I am in full view, in full service, I am open to criticism, rejection, negative vibrations, not just from
potential clients but from other light workers, I know this I have felt it and it hurts deeply.
The big question is. . .
Is it Worth it?
“Release the old patterns.” he said. And that was it.
I let the energy flow through me inside and out.
I felt the space fill up with compassion for myself, for my journey.
I understand it like nobody else. This is something I can do.
Give myself the space to change, transition and grow.
Transition, it is my choice. Just as it is yours.
Enter into transition time can be dark, filled with doubt and painful memories.
This is temporary. You are in this place for a reason. . . to move ahead.
And hasn't that been what you've been wanting?
The darkness creates a stillness that will allow you to rest as change occurs.
Trust the process, my friend. It is why you are here.
You are made for the journey.
And you can do it.
Written by Bridgette Doerr shared on the Fairy Grasshopper Blog
Working on shifting my energy related to money, I was drawn to do some work on my root chakra. The first part of this audio is about tools and the process that I was working on and then BAM!!
A past life story about money, came in.
Root Chakra Money Story
Here are some of the tools that I have used for moving money blocks energy at my root chakra:
Audio/video- singing bowls root chakra
Audio- healing visualization from Kenji Kumara to remove Blocks to Prosperity *I am not an affiliate. I don't get any special kick back for sharing this.
Candles- chakras connected with money and abundance
Essential Oils- Myrrh and Rosewood as suggested by Ascended Master, Melchizedek * follow directions be careful with the oils, not to be ingested to be used with understanding of the labels on the bottles.
Salts: Epsom salt for deep clearing *follow the directions carefully on the package.
Foot Soak: Use a Tupperware tub, dish tub or even a small storage tub will work, Warm water as
warm as you can do it comfortably.
I felt like I needed to understand the Divine Mind concept from my personal grid system of energy, to really embody the knowing. I pulled a card from my beautiful feminine power deck of the 13 Moon Oracle, channeled by Ariel Spilsbury, that lead me to what I had expected, the Divine Mind concept is to be integrated through energy or if you prefer, non verbal or other frequency assistance. The card I got was Mantra (word), Yantra (sacred geometry), and Mudra (movement, hand signs). Excuse my basic interpretation of these concepts for those who study them or love them I know it can go much deeper.
Ah- HA! Living in the Divine Mind is using these channels to help to shift us into the level of perspective that is beyond the Ego Mind. Now it has occurred to me that it could feel like I am making a bigger deal of this Divine Mind thing than it seems to actually be. If you are more enlightened or advance in soul life than I am, I am sure you may find this old news. But for me and others like me, it's a BIG F' n' deal! And by that I mean a BIG FEMININE DEAL!
Ego mind has felt like a dude since as long as I can remember. Over protective big brother! Annoying! But successful in it's tactics for years- until the rebel within me started uprising, the heart you know- it is the chosen one! So where does that leave the mind? The part of me that gave me focused drive to achieve career success, to get the big house, the nice cars the beautiful family. . . all the things that make a perfect Brady Bunch show.
It was like a battle of good vs. evil. Of choosing to serve God, leaving all my material accomplishments and choosing a vow of poverty and service in psychic work. And that was a Crock of Holy S*. Sacred work is valued and has a place along side the abundance of the whole. It was not this horrible sacrifice that my mind lead me to believe it was to be. It wasn't an easy transition at all. But it didn't put me on the streets begging for food to feed my 4 children either.
I know the struggle in the balance of power dance inside you. I have been through many rounds of it. I am like Rocky with the ego mind. Which may be why I have many clients who are sensitive soulful people who feel beaten up by the mind, and the affirmation of the ego mind that is rewarded in external experiences.
There is a new way of thinking that does not force a choice between mind and spirit, it is this purple glow of feminine power called the Divine Mind. There may be other literature or insight available on this and if there is I do not know of it at the time of this writing. I share from the insight that comes directly to me in channeled messages. I would encourage you to explore the concepts and land on a place that feels right in alignment with where you are on your journey.
The divine mind is the SHE. To which the ego has been the HE. To move through the vibration of old patterns of limited through in the ego and into the freedom and acceptance of the SHE is to unite the spirit in it's search for home and oneness. We shall work with both of these aspects because we need all to be one. Make sense? Did I loose you? Come back to the center- divine mind is like a new way to know your spirit. For the spirit to serve as the leader of your life in collaboration with your mind. We need that brain to plan and process. But not to scare or over protect us.
Ok OK Enough of the intro. . . here is the audio.
Now this is an amazing journey. I hop enjoy the story and embrace the learning that flows through it!
Here are some highlights, silver dress, sparkle boots, white mod lounge bar, star trek vibe and q&a about understanding the reason for a human experience, the need for a human ego mind in the first place. . . it's not as complicated as you might think. Listen. . .
Stuck in your Mind? This could be your Relief. The first of the Divine Mind Messages from Meditation with Melchizedek
Many of my sessions tend to relate to the ego mind struggling to understanding the spirit and especially the desires and dreams of the heart. When this concept of the Divine Mind was introduced to me in meditation, I thought it was for my personal journey and understanding. And I quickly realized it was MUCH BIGGER. It is a way to look at our mindset, our ego mind and our spirit in fact, in a different way. One that can maybe get you past the inner fighting you can have with your mind vs. your heart or your mind vs. spirit. SO much energy is wasted in, in-fighting.
This first message gives the background into the Divine Mind messages that are starting to come in. Again I thought this was my personal shift a healing journey that I was letting another layer shift out of my ego mind value system, there are layers you know. LOL.
BUT- it seems it was my induction into the new concept. And is a base for me to share with you as I was receiving it. There are several messages now that I have been given and I will share some of them in future posts.
I will also be teaching the Divine Mind concept as a tool for sensitive people in my private program work. It is that big of a deal. The shift, the understanding of this is pretty interesting! And it can really move those who are open to a new way of being into that new paradigm.
WOW! Ready? Ok so this audio is raw- I wasn't really expecting to share it with everyone. And I have a cold in it- sorry about that if it bugs you to listen a bit. IT is WORTH the listen.
If you battle with Ego Mind, if you feel like you have to choose between your Spirit and your Mind. . . this may be the start of a peaceful co-existence.
In morning meditation, I met with Melchizedek. I asked him how I should refer to him, in these posts and in talks- in our work together. It wasn't clear on his "title". I need to call him something that you will all understand. I said Spiritual Teacher? He didn't respond. I said let's try this another way, what am I to you? Am I a student, or an apprentice? He laughed and said "We've already done that." referring to a past lifetime. Like I am supposed to have that on natural recall.
He said "You are my apothecary." I said, 'Just a minute" I knew the initial image of a small chest of drawers as an antique in an old pharmacy was not really my idea of myself. I pulled out my cell phone and googled it. There must be another meaning. . .and there was. "a person who prepares compounds for medicinal purposes" Now that makes sense. He means I am the one who passes the information along, I share the healing ingredients. I share the medicine.
Ok. I can be Melchizedek's apothecary. Sure. And I asked him about healing, I needed some pro-active help with my sacral chakra, go figure the fire chakra. He said, let me show you. And he held what looked like an orb, or a crystal ball in front of me. I watched it and I saw an image of a little girl who was hugging her Dad and then her Mom at a park. She was told to wait here, so she did. I did. And I entered into a visualization for the Divine Inner Child that would connect me to the most powerful unconditional love I have known as a mother to my own divine child. I received the healing and I told him we need to share this. He said record the visualization for others. And so I did.
Here is the audio intro to this connection.
Here is your medicine for the divine inner child within
you. From your Apothecary. (wink)
A word about this video, it was not edited. If you only watch a part- start at the 11 min. mark and watch the light come in. I recorded near a window with curtains drawn. And yet as shown, you can't keep out the light, it always finds a way!
I know many solo-preneurs have the same struggle to answer the What do you do question.
My work is Psychic and it is Empowerment work. I focus on working with women to co-create a transformation in their life. My desire is to inspire! I am known for my ability to shift perspectives and awaken your feminine power! Breakthrough resistance and reveal your gifts in all the areas of your life. This is a bit of my glitter. I serve as a bridge, a scared communication channel to the spirit on all levels. Insight, understanding, clarity and hope is what you can expect from working with me.
Thanks for watching/reading/listening,
There is a document attached to this post with the message. It should be filed under the title of OH My Psychic Life. . . but it is kind of Deep thought. . . a deep message.
I decided to share from my personal journal from the early weeks of January when I was receiving so much communication from the Ascended Masters, it was when I met Melchizedek and eventually signed a new soul contract. I had full day session
with my business coach during the time all this inner work was going on. Using my ego mind I thought would be challenging and yet I discovered some new energy or rather awakened it. Goddess Kali and Shakti actually showed up in my business coaching and I shared their messages aloud with my coach. I really connected especially with Kali
and her transformative energy and strength. A fierce healer, in the words of my coach. January was a full month, on many levels.
Today I painted a beautiful picture of fire. The flames like wings painted upward reaching and dancing, flowing in grace and power. It is the connection of divine feminine for me.
I can feel it in my soul- or rather my sacral chakra. I decided to share my personal journal entry and a writing I did about being outside a sweat lodge memorial last year, during the time Red Turtle Bear made his journey to the spirit world.
Sacred Fire Written April 14, 2013 By Bridgette Doerr
I sat close to the fire. I could barely feel the chill of the evening that had my teeth chattering
moments before. The flames moved as if they were tribal dancers. There was a ceremony as they leaped and swayed. I had not noticed the power of the light before. I have always
appreciated the warmth of the sun like glow of the campfire, but I have not been witness to the performance of the flame until this cold April night.
Maybe it was the spirit of the women, who had walked beside me down to the stone circle, you could see the glow from a distance. Arm in arm we filled the space so that the circle of the fire was a ring of women. The beautiful voice of a siren’s song echoed through the air, sweetly providing the music for the dance of the light.
One by one we gave our offering, held in the glow of resurrection. Many promises
were made this night. Many. So many sparks rose up to meet the stars as resistances was melted away with ease. Fire is indeed powerful. It was sacred. It called us in and transformed our spirit into oneness. United heart to heart as we embrace the possibility of what we can do. Letting the fire take away all the can’t. All the limits gone.
As the flames danced. The light forming into individual performers as if to acknowledge the individual in each of us. To honor our contributions to this group, to this life, to this world.
And so it is.
Journal Jan. 11, 2014
What if what is happening (January stuff showing up) is about the element of fire?
What if my sacral chakra houses the element of fire in a way that is so powerful that it creates a constant need to balance and detox and clear each month?
The change in my body cycle started a few months after I had my son Nathan.
There was so much change in my life then, prior to and after that time. I left my career, I got married, I had another baby it was an intense time of transition. All of these things are connected to the sacral chakra, the womb.
In the past 6 months I have been connecting with the element of fire. We even created a fire pit in our yard. Just in time for the summer solstice last year. Right after my mentor died and made his journey to the spirit world. During the native American rituals, the fires burned for days to help his spirit cross- he was a gifted medicine man. He was more than a friend. He knew what it was like to be me, to be so clairvoyant and always connected to the spirit world. Just being at lunch with him, I would just get incredible downloads of
infused knowledge from him.
I never really knew fire, I always connected with water. I am, after all, a water sign. And oddly enough when I learned the Celtic Goddess Brigit- was actually a fire Goddess- ironic I thought, because she has a well dedicated to her. Maybe we have more in common then our name? I still did not feel a calling to the fire until my mentor ascended into the spirit world.
As I write this- I begin to feel grief, come up from inside. As I am just now receiving the message of what he has given me. He is helping me to connect and understand the element of fire. It is a tool. I saw his face, happy and smiling at me, like the photo taken of him on my wedding day. I felt the message enter. . . “This is the gift I give to you.
Now You will carry it. Use it, it is medicine.”
Like a kid playing with matches, I knew I was in a lot of trouble. I need to get
this fire thing integrated and managed or it could be counter- productive.
Who gives a kid matches?!
Big smile insert here.
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