When I feel into this place it is my shadow. I feel disconnected to my healing team, my certainty.
It isn’t just dark, it’s quiet. Yet even in the darkness, I feel the candle light.
It is always there. It is God reminding me of who I am, and why I am here.
Why am I in the darkness of my shadow right now?
What is it this time?
What is causing the shade of separation between the sun light and my earthly body?
And pause. . .
In a powerful stillness.
I’ve been in shadow before. If I am showing up for my life, I should be entering into my shadow from time to time. I will be here or someplace exactly like it, again. . . .
I recognize this as the transition place. I see and feel the energy of this all the time in session.
Like a subway tunnel underground, moving quickly through flashes of dime light. This transition tube of gray is the way we get there, sometimes, most of the times. It is the fastest of ways, perhaps.
Cocoon in the darkness,
To break free of layers ready to be released.
The toughest part of this for me is the feeling of disconnect. I can’t hear many of my Spirit Helpers during the quiet time. I can sense my lead guide, I am not completely alone but it feels like it. I am always in crowded room of spirit helpers, a constant hum of chatter always surrounds me.
And all the sudden I enter transition and it becomes spooky quiet. Funny when you think about how all that supernatural chatter is normal to me and being without is not.
It’s been a few days, maybe three now, the mode of heightened self care. I could feel the release phase start, the opening of the transition time. Oh I \been there done that Quite aware of the process.
Today I was able to connect with my circle, my team, in meditation. And I asked for help.
Sometimes I need a reminder that I need to ask for help. Sound familiar?
When I arrived in meditation, I went to the ocean. I had my yoga pants on and a white t-shirt,
with the words Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful, (a shift I bought from Shannon of Lotus Life Designs).
My bare feet sounded by sand with each step.
I ran to the water. I love the white foam that makes my feet curl.
After a few moments, I began to run down the shore line until I was exhausted.
Water splashing, feet pounding on the wet earth.
I fell to my knees,
face up to the sun and I begged for help and it came.
I felt love and support circling me, all of my women guides. I was connected again.
And I sobbed, releasing the pain of transition.
Then I heard him. Melchizedek, (Ascended Master, one of my personal Spirit Guides, he called out
from above, he was behind me on the rocky beach.
“I need help with my Ego Mind”, I said. I want to run away from what I
want. It seems like it would be easier to just let things be.
The bigger the visions of my work, the more painful it is, the stronger my mind fights me.
Throwing Daggers pierce my heart to make it bleed streaks of darkness over my soul.
Is this growing pain?
Like muscles tearing to get stronger, to build.
As I get brave, I step out a little bit ,out of my safe place, but I feel deeper than vulnerable,
I feel like a target. A huge bulls eye.
As if I am asking for proof that I don’t belong.
Here in the out place,
the bigger place of vastness where opportunity and possibility come in swag bags.
I wear a sign that says “Kick Me” on my back. Taunting self- doubt outward
to get the universe to bring on the hazing.
When I am in full view, in full service, I am open to criticism, rejection, negative vibrations, not just from
potential clients but from other light workers, I know this I have felt it and it hurts deeply.
The big question is. . .
Is it Worth it?
“Release the old patterns.” he said. And that was it.
I let the energy flow through me inside and out.
I felt the space fill up with compassion for myself, for my journey.
I understand it like nobody else. This is something I can do.
Give myself the space to change, transition and grow.
Transition, it is my choice. Just as it is yours.
Enter into transition time can be dark, filled with doubt and painful memories.
This is temporary. You are in this place for a reason. . . to move ahead.
And hasn't that been what you've been wanting?
The darkness creates a stillness that will allow you to rest as change occurs.
Trust the process, my friend. It is why you are here.
You are made for the journey.
And you can do it.
Written by Bridgette Doerr shared on the Fairy Grasshopper Blog
Join the Weekly Email
Inspire Your Spirit!
Embrace your own special kind of magic and Be Who You Are Created to Be!
I specialize in soulful connections.
What's My Story?